"It's a nice concept, [but] I would rather people just cut the guest list... don't waste your time and money trying to arrange the flowers when you can find someone to do it at a fairly decent cost. When I see brides the morning of their wedding sitting around trying to finish stringing the paper carnations, i'm like, 'what are you doing?' It's a penny wise, pound foolish."
- Marcy Blum, on why the do-it-yourself wedding trend has run its course
What time is it?! That's right! LIST TIME!!!!
1) I don't have a clue who this Marcy Blum character is, but I sincerely hope she's referring to rich-ass people/celebrities in this quote. Not everyone has money flying out of their ass. A lot of people can't afford to pay someone else to string their paper carnations - maybe some brides WANT to string their own paper carnations because they like being creative. What kind of advice is this? Go into debt so you don't have to lift a pretty little bridal finger!
2) "Fairly decent" costs largely don't exist in the Wedding Industrial Complex. Hence the freaking DIY.
Quote for fresh flowers from a florist that look and smell great that will die in a week - $600
Fake flowers that my mum found at the local Pottery Barn that were in my wedding colors and still look awesome and I can still decorate the house with - $60
Knowing that just because you're getting married you haven't lost all semblance of sense and see that there is $550 in savings between these two options, realizing that not having real flowers isn't the 'make-it or break-it' factor, knowing that bridal magazines will push this shit and make you think you want/need it when you really don't, and nobody will care, much less remember, the flowers at your wedding - MUTHAFU*KIN' PRICELESS
MasterCard should make that commercial.
3) I'm just gonna call attention to the part where Ms. Blum says, "don't waste your time and money... fairly decent cost." Yes, DIYing wedding crafts does take time, but i'm sorry - last I checked, it was actually free to arrange your own flowers, versus not free if you have to pay someone else to do it. Unless you work in your own one-woman sweat shop, cranking out bridal jewelry in a frenzy. In that case, sistas are doing it for themselves! CONTRADICTION. GLARING.
4) While Ms. Blum may think that DIY weddings are on the outs, I know of a whole slew of wedding blogs that suggest otherwise. But Ms. Blum probably wouldn't read any of these blogs because, well, apparently she thinks it's foolish for anyone to want to save some money and do what they can themselves, rather than springing for that gigantic backlit ice swan sculpture because OMG THE SPARKLE! DO YOU SEE HOW IT SPARKLES?!?!
The wedding industry is on crack right now. With shows like Say Yes To The Dress and Four Weddings and movies like Bride Wars, the industry is trying to make it seem like you have to have certain things, or your wedding is just plain tacky. They're trying to depersonalize weddings and make them into an adult sweet sixteen party, where you have to have the 'perfect' dress and the 'perfect' flowers, and the groom gets shoved aside as just an accessory because it's 'the bride's day'. I grit my teeth every time I hear that phrase. Supposedly, the average budget for a wedding today is 20, 000 dollars. I don't know where they pulled this statistic from, but if that's true, then everyone on the entire face of the earth makes waaaay more money than I do.
What is wrong with DIY weddings? Nothing in my opinion. You get to put a piece of yourself into each task, making each thing you make and do carry more meaning and memories. Instead of some over-the-top, princess-for-a-day, look-at-me-look-at-me spectacle, it becomes something personal, which is what it should be. So many people helped make my wedding what it was, which was fantastic, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Everything went amazingly, better than we could have imagined. There was a real sense of teamwork and community, and knowing that friends and family had a hand in helping make the bouquets and the favors and the centerpieces made the day so special, so filled with love. Every time I looked at something someone made or helped with I felt an overwhelming sense of 'Wow. These people really love me.' Of course I knew this all along, but it really drove the point home. The people who matter want to see you happy. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Can money buy you that?
For anyone who is planning a wedding or will be in the future, and doesn't have the kind of money to buy a monogrammed light show for their reception, here is a list of blogs that have kept me sane and provided me with solid, practical, user-friendly advice:
apracticalwedding.com
thebrokeassbride.com
indiebride.com
offbeatbride.com
These are just a sampling of the great ones out there. I know they certainly helped me gain clarity and convinced me to PUT THE WEDDING MAGAZINE DOWN. (Do it, unless you have 20K to spare for a wedding, they'll just make you feel inadequate and cheap. And you don't need any of the stuff they're insisting you do. Don't get me wrong, the weddings featured in the magazines are beautiful, but i'd be damned if i'm gonna drop that much money on one day, no matter how important.) Go forth and explore your options! You have them!
In the end, a marriage is about two people in love wanting to share their lives together, being supported and surrounded by the people who helped them get there, not the money you spend.
Marcy can suck it!
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